Rainbow Book Reviews The Demon and The Emperor

 "From its beautifully rendered cover through to its final page, ‘The Demon and The Emperor’ is a magnificent example of what a good Yaoi romance should aspire to be."

Read the full review here: 
http://www.rainbowbookreviews.com/book-reviews/the-demon-and-the-emperor-by-yamila-abraham-at-yaoi-press

Conquering the Phobe

Conquering the Phobe

Passionate right-wing conservative Albert Reese has taken a dangerous interest in his gay classmate Denton Price.

Albert mercilessly trounces Denton during a very personal debate in their politics class, leaving Denton devastated.  He’s grateful this is the end of the semester.  He never wants to see Albert’s cold judging glare ever again.

But then Albert chases Denton down in the library…  

This super steamy, tumultuous romance is a standalone with no cliffhangers and a guaranteed happily-ever-after.  By the author of UnPrison!

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Excerpt ~

On the third floor of the university library, Denton Price traversed aisles of seldom-used legal books to find a remote wooden table.  It sat in a corner too far from the high windows to ever catch a ray of sunlight.  The veneer had been ruined by coffee rings and the indentation of pen marks; a good table to hide at in an obscure corner.  Denton dropped into a clunky wooden chair with his back to the wall.  He placed his lean elbows on the table, his face in his hands, and let the tears come.

His body shuddered quietly as he sobbed.  He couldn't abide a stranger catching his anguish, and certainly not another student.  Even here, the most secluded place he could find on campus, there was still a chance of intrusion.  It was the best he could do, as far as he could go.  Denton couldn't hold back his pain another moment.

Once the first aches of his turmoil were quenched by tears, he wiped his nose on a handkerchief and ground his teeth.

"Fucking asshole," he said, forcing his voice to stay quiet.  "Fucking ignorant asshole piece of shit."

He clenched a fist and let his pain meld with the anger.  More tears came forth, now with such passion his stomach cramped.  The severity of his emotion made him feel hopeless, helpless--then he remembered one particularly stinging line Albert Reese had cleverly spouted.  Smoothly, as though he'd had the quip rehearsed, and delivered with cold nonchalance.  Denton's face reddened with humiliation all over again just at the memory.  He let his head drop into his folded arms so he could muffle sobs he couldn't keep silent.

"Hey."

Denton's entire body tensed a millisecond before he darted up his head to look.  Then his heart was raging in his temples.  Anguish was replaced with a primeval fight or flight instinct. 

His nemesis stood directly before him with only the table separating them.  This brought several harrowing revelations at once.  Albert had to have followed him.  There was no reason for him to be in this part of the library--no possibility he'd been caught there by chance.  And he'd snuck up on him.  He'd probably been watching him this entire time through the gaps of a bookshelf.  When Denton had buried his head in his arms, he'd emerged, quiet as a cat, to block him into the corner.  Denton couldn't leave without fighting his way past him now.

He stared at Albert while trying to keep his rapid breathing from becoming too apparent.  He'd overheard once that Albert was the dean's son, and though only a sophomore he was three years older than most other students in their grade.  The added years had given him time to fill out more.  He had a formidable athletic build.  (Wasn't he an athlete?  Probably in some irrelevant sport that didn't give scholarships.)  He had inky black hair that gleamed, and there was scruff on his chin, trimmed to the fashionable length that accentuated his mature, masculine presence.  He wore a long black coat with shoulders that came out to stiff points and polished buckles fastened along a slick angle. 

The first time Denton saw him he'd thought he looked like a male model from a Virgin Airlines billboard, but that was before--before he knew what kind of monster he was.  Now he just looked like a villain.  Not a cartoonish vaudevillian, but some menacing actor in a psychological thriller.  One where his good looks would have the audience presuming he was a good guy until the show neared its end.  Then it would come out that he was a psychopath, injecting children with fatal viruses or holing up victims in a basement torture chamber.  He could easily see Albert removing someone's teeth with a pair of pliers.

All these thoughts came as he stared at him, not knowing with to say or do.  He felt like prey.  Albert had captured him with void brown eyes that had to note his apprehension. 

The moment drew on long enough to grow awkward.  Denton heard himself swallow.

Albert let the strap from his bag slide off his shoulder.  He dropped it on the table, then pulled out the chair across from Denton and sat.  He positioned his body sideways, crossed his legs, then let out a slow exhalation through puckered lips.  He rested his other elbow on the table. 

"That was very elucidating," he said without looking toward Denton.

Denton attempted to shake his head in disbelief, but the movement just came out as a tremble.  He wasn't sure if Albert meant the debate or his crying. 

"What do you want?"

Albert's eyes flashed at him, then lowered.  "I've taken an interest in you."

He felt incredulous once again.  This smug asshole!  He dug the nails from both hands into the wooden edge of the table.

"Can I get you a hot chocolate, or something?"

His smooth easy tone renewed the fury in Denton's chest.  He began to tremble.  Tears built up behind his eyes, but he managed to bite them back.

"The fuck is wrong with you?" Denton said.

Albert groaned, a muted nasal sound of impatience and annoyance.  He turned in his seat to grab his messenger bag.  Denton tensed as he opened the bag and dug around inside.  Maybe he was seeking his phone to take a selfie with Denton while his face was still red and swollen from crying--a trophy for his victory today.

Albert withdrew his searching hand without removing anything from the bag. 

"I left my vaporizer at the house.  Do you have that gum?"

The request eased the mood slightly.  Albert didn't seem to have any malevolent motives.  Back here, far from prying eyes and ears, he had no one to impress with his verbal gay bashing. 

Denton picked up his own bag without taking his eyes off Albert.  He pulled out a wrapped square of nicotine gum from his side pocket and slid it across the table.

"Take it and go."

Albert looked at it, then at Denton.  "I'm not going.  You stay put, too."

"What the fuck--what do you want?"

He peeled open the gum, put it in his mouth.  "I heard you crying.  I thought we should talk."

"You followed me."

Albert chewed.  "Yes."

"Why?"

"I told you.  I've taken an interest in you.  The class is over--I don't know if we have any more classes together.  I need to a means to pursue my interest."  His brown eyes fixed on him with a gleam.  "Like a friendship."

The trembling infected his lower lip.  "Are you literally psychopathic?"  His heart began to race again as he challenged him.  "Who the Hell talks like that?  You don't want to be my friend.  You wouldn't have gone at me so viciously in class if you did."

"Hurting you wasn't the goal.  Just an unfortunate necessity."  Albert chewed a few moments before tucking the gum into his lip.  "Let me get you that hot chocolate."

"Leave me alone."

Albert turned himself sideways again.  "That's not going to happen, Denton.  I'm obsessed and you don't have enough fortitude to do what it will take to get rid of me."  He shot him another glance.  "Why don't you give this...friendship a chance?"

Denton rubbed his hand over his face.  "You're obsessed with me?"  His chest was beginning to ache from the tension.  "You're just going to say that like it's normal?" 

"I know a lot more about being normal than you do."

"Fuck you!" 

He needed to cry again.  Every word Albert pulled out of him veered dangerously towards choked emotion.  He was feeling threatened with Albert so close, and the cathartic release he'd needed had been blocked.  The wretchedness of his situation, his entire miserable day, was collapsing in on itself.  Maybe this was what a nervous breakdown felt like?

He buried his face in his hands and let himself cry.  That's probably what the asshole wanted.  Maybe that would get him to leave, without torturing him some more first.

Fine.  Watch me cry, you sick fuck.

Once he started he couldn't hold back.  His entire body shook with the sobs.  He let the pain shudder out of him and drench his hands with tears. 

The sounds were still stifled.  He muffled hiccups for breath behind his palms.  Albert was close enough to drink it all in, even if he wept softly.  The bastard had no shame, to sit quietly watching him.

"That's good.  Get it out of your system."

Denton snuffled and gathered up his handkerchief again.  Albert had turned to sit facing him during his tumult.  His gleaming brown eyes got to drink in every ounce of his pain.

"We're both going to get an A, you know."  His voice was bereft of sympathy.  "One had to win, and one had to lose.  It only had to look like we were both trying."

"I was trying," Denton said through his teeth.

Albert's smile was insidious.  "I know."  His eyes lowered.  "It was good.  Really good."

Denton was incredulous.  "So what?  You came to gloat?"

Albert shook his head while considering.  "Not really.  I don't think you need more punishment today."

What?!

"I am celebrating though.  This was a big deal to me."  He paused to draw a contented sigh.  "I wish I could have filmed it.  Best fucking debate of my life.  No one will ever believe me--that I trounced a gay on gay marriage.  In this day and age?"

Denton began to tremble again.  The speech was twisting his stomach.

Albert fixed on him.  "We worked well together.  You're the perfect foil for me.  I don't want to give that up."

"Would you please fuck off?"

"Shut up!" 

The burst of anger made Denton's neck hair's prick up.  A half-second later and Albert was once again composed.

"You're not letting me get to my point.  I wasn't out to hurt you as badly as I did.    You're...I mean look at you.  I've got nothing but sympathy for you."  His eyes moved up and down him in one dismissive sweep.  "Your condition."

"God you are such a fucking asshole."

Albert grinned.  "Of course you'd say that."

"Look, you had your fun.  It wasn't emotional to you.  It wasn't personal.  It was easy for you to think up all the bullshit you wanted ahead of time, and just be a fucking clever douchebag.  You had all the advantage."

Albert nodded.  His smile was gone and he looked enthralled.

"Yeah, you killed it.  You trounced me.  It was so fucking awesome for you.  But it's over, Albert, it's done.  End of the semester.  End of your glory.  You don't get an instant replay.  You don't get to drag it out!"

"That's not what this is about."

"Yes it is, because I'm sick over what you did to me and you're here grinning like a fucking idiot because it just reminds you of how good you fucking nailed me."

"Hmm."  He nodded in smug contemplation.  "You do make me happy."

Denton jabbed out his finger to point to toward the exit.  "It's over!  Go!  Leave!  I'm not going to give you anymore fucking joy today!"

Albert lowered his head and rapped his nails on the table.  "You're not in control of what I do.  I don't think you've grasped that."

Denton groaned and placed his face back into his hands.

"I wish I could have won the debate without going so hard on you.  There's some guilt."

Denton didn't look up.  "Tough shit."

"You have enough problems.  I mean, I don't know why you chose this lifestyle--"

Denton gave a sound of pained infuriation.

"I don't know why my cousin became a heroin addict either.  And it's easy to judge, but I haven't lived his life--or yours.  I don't know what pushed you to this degree of depravity.  I need to have some compassion."  He gestured with one upturned hand.  "Maybe I could help you.  Have you considered getting treatment?"

His chest quaked.  "You're a condescending prick."

Albert rolled his eyes and shook his head, as though Denton were a petulant child.  "Anyway.  I should take responsibility for my actions.  I condemn your lifestyle, but at the same time I'm just adding to your neurosis with the way I devastated you today.  I could simply damn you for your life choices, but it's far nobler, far more Christian, for me to reach out and try to help you.  That's what you really need.  I'm not so deluded that I can't see that."

Denton shot up from his chair and grabbed his duffle bag.  He lifted one of his long legs so he could kick back the table enough to go around the other side and get past Albert.

"Go to Hell!"

Albert remained seated.  "That's where I'm trying to prevent you from going."

Denton stomped away.  He heard the legs of Albert's chair scrape the floor as he reared it back to stand.

Don't follow me, you fucking asshole!

"That was impressive, Denton.  Maybe you do have what it takes to stand up to me."

"Unbelievable!"

He got the elevator to close without seeing Albert behind him.  Even if the bastard went down the other elevator he had enough of a head start to get away from him. 

With luck they wouldn't have any classes together next semester.

Maybe he'd never have to see the evil son of a bitch again.

** * ** * ** * ** *** * ** *** * ** *** * ** *** * ** *** * ** *** * ** *** * ** *** *

Denton's dorm was a converted brownstone in a residential area.  It was one street removed from the main campus, which was scattered over two bustling city blocks.  The walk wasn't far, but the sidewalks hadn't been plowed and were clogged with dense ice, the result of several back-to-back snowstorms.  Denton had to walk in the street outside the tight perimeter of parked cars lining each side of the road.  With the snow banks on either side the lanes had grown precariously narrow.  Vehicles had to slow down to pass each other without nicking side mirrors.  Denton forced cars to maneuver around him into the oncoming lane.  The road was too slippery for most vehicles to gain speed, regardless of traffic.  Denton marched over black ice hidden by powdery snow with little fear of getting hit by a car.  This was winter in New York.  Everyone had to adapt.

The sound of an engine got him to lower the faux-fur lined hood of his coat and turn back.  A 4x4 Jeep with tire chains had just turned onto the road.  Denton could see two figures inside through the dash.  The driver had his lips pulled back so that Denton could make out his clenched white teeth.  He slammed on the gas.  The nimble vehicle gripped the road with such precision it quickly gained speed over the ice. 

Denton merely stared for the first second.  He realized the driver was Carl Rieger, a Junior from the same fraternity Albert was part of.  He'd been in the audience during the final debate Denton and Albert had presented in their Political Theory class.  Next to him was a sorority girl Denton vaguely recognized.  She was gripping her seatbelt with a look of fear.  As the Jeep continued toward him at fifty miles per hour Denton came to share her expression.  Even if the asshole was only trying to scare him he was coming too fast on too narrow a road to safely swerve around. 

Denton started running.  He got to the first gap between the cars and leaped out of the way.  The zipper of his open coat cracked against the Jeep's front fender.  It rushed past without slowing. 

Denton watched the Jeep disappear down the road with his eyes wide with terror.  His heart was thumping in his throat. 

He was trying to kill me!      

It took moments for the notion to really sink in.  Carl Rieger, someone he'd never spoken to or had any trouble with, had just attempted to run him over.

"Jesus Christ."

He couldn't get himself to step back into the road.  His mouth had gone dry. 

Why?   

They were strangers.  They had nothing to do with each other.  Had Albert put him up to it? 

For some reason he doubted this.  He'd seen Carl and Albert speak one time about some fraternity chores or something.  They'd sat far apart in the class, despite enough room in back to be close if they wanted.  Carl was a junior and had other closer friends in the frat house.

Why the fuck did he just try to murder me? 

It was a spur of the moment thing.  Carl just saw him and sped up.  A split second decision.  Just like that.  With teeth clenched in rage...

For what? 

That's when it dawned on him.  The debate.  He had argued in favor of gay marriage.  Albert had argued against it. 

Albert had outed him during the debate.

Denton hadn't refuted his 'accusation,' but it was one of barbs still spearing his middle from the ordeal.  His orientation was no one's business, but he wasn't about to deny it.  He wasn't ashamed. 

Now Carl knew.  Based on that--the fact that he was gay--Carl Rieger had just attempted to end his life.

He took a deep breath.  How could he do something so extreme?  Something that would ruin his own life?

No.  Denton realized Carl already had an alibi.  He was walking in the road.  It was icy.  Everyone would believe it was an accident.

Denton felt sick. 

He forced his legs to work again and made it back to his dorm.  It was official now:  this had been the worst day of his life.

He went up to the second floor to the three-bedroom apartment that served as his dorm.  His bedroom, the smallest, was shared with Soledad Murphy.  Denton's spirits crumpled even further when he saw his roommate was absent.  The other five students sharing the apartment had already gone home for winter break.  Soledad was his last hope for someone to commiserate with.

He grabbed his phone and sent him a text.

Where are you, man?  I could really use someone to talk to.

He saw an indicator showing Soledad was typing a reply.

Sorry.  Out.  Won't be back until really late.

Denton felt like crying again.

Going to the s&f in Poughkeepsie.  On the bus right now.

Denton grimaced.  S&F stood for suck and fuck. 

Sorry I can't go to Blinkys with you. This too good to pass up u know? Maybe my white stallion be there. Lol.  Promise you'll still go out without me. 

Denton set down his phone and sank against his large pillow.  He tried to will the tension out of his muscles.  His neck felt so tight it cricked when he moved. 

A Swede named Lars was a kindly daddy who frequented Blinky's.  If he was there, Denton knew he would snuggle him in his large arms sympathetically, and then walk him to his nearby apartment for some gentle no-strings lovemaking.  He was the first man Denton had given himself to, back in the fall semester of his freshman year.  This was probably the one-year anniversary of that night.  Sucking on his thick organ for a half hour or so would go a long way towards alleviating Denton's stress.  Lars could then ease his condomed cock inside of him while uttering sweet nothings in his native tongue.  The hope for such a comfort almost got him to rise from his bed.  He'd been to Blinky's enough times with Soledad to feel safe there.

Was anywhere safe for him now?  Carl Rieger had tried to kill him, just like that. 

Just like that.

He huddled back again.  He was too numb still to text Soledad about the incident.  He'd will himself to perform the task later.  His flamboyant roomie needed that dose of reality.  Idiotic risks at random men's houses needed to end.  Their normal argument was just about Soledad's lax attitude on safe sex.  Now he was actually scared something other than HIV was going to end Soledad's life. 

** * ** * ** * ** *** * ** *** * ** *** * ** *** * ** *** * ** *** * ** *** * ** *** *

Denton spent an hour sitting on his bed feeling tense and dejected.  He eventually had to get up to go to the bathroom.  His body unfurled stiffly, with anguish still built up in the fibers of his muscles.  Once he emerged from the bathroom he decided to remain in motion.  He had to pack to spend the holidays at his sister's house. 

He'd just finished stuffing his dirty laundry into a mesh bag when the door intercom buzzed.  Denton padded over the cold hardwood floor to answer it.  He stopped halfway.  The monitor revealed Albert Reese holding two cups of hot chocolate in a cardboard cup carrier.

Renewed anguish squeezed Denton's chest.  And yet, Albert didn't seem quite as terrible now that he had Carl Rieger to compare him to.

He still didn't want him in his dorm.  How did he know where I live?  He thought of ignoring him.

Albert pressed the buzzer again.  Denton still didn't move.  The wealthy asshole started to tap a buzzer message in Morse code.

Denton stomped over and pressed the speaker button.  "What the Hell do you want?"

"Let me in."

"Why the fuck would I?"

"I brought you hot chocolate from Stexies."

"Get lost."  The meager power he had now made his chest brim. 

"I want to talk to you about something--it's important."

Denton chewed his lower lip.  Did Albert know about what happened in the road?  Had he been watching him?

Denton bristled.  "Are you alone?"

Albert added confusion to his annoyed expression.  "Yes.  Who do you think I'd have with me?"

"Carl Rieger."

Albert lowered his head enough to obscure his eyes.  "Carl already left for Brooklyn to spend the night with his girlfriend."

Denton pressed the button to unlock the door.  There was still another locked door between them, so if anyone besides Albert came in he could call the police.  Such thoughts would have never crossed his mind before. 

He watched Albert enter alone and released the button.  Denton met him on the second floor landing.  The prick brightened with a convivial smile when he saw him.

"Are you by yourself?"

"Yeah."

"Good."

Denton led him in.  He set the cups on the dining room table and then took off his gloves and coat.  The apartment was clean thanks to him and his OCD Vietnamese roommate Tin.  Albert was taking in the sparse décor approvingly.

"Nice place."

Denton let his shoulders slump.  "What's this important thing you wanted to talk to me about?"

He gave a slight shrug.  "Nothing," he said during a blink.  "I just said that so you'd let me in."

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Conquering the Phobe Preview Reading

A reading from Yaoimila's newest novel, Conquering the Phobe.  Available on Amazon tomorrow!